Ministry and Identity
The challenge of truly believing who God says I am by the blood of Jesus Christ has been constant since the day I became a Christian. At times I have found that ministry seems to highlight how little faith I have in my true identity; ministry does not create false identity, but it certainly does expose it.
In my heart, it is clear that I have not arrived at a perfect faith in my Gospel identity, but I can say that God has, according to his steadfastness, grown me in embracing my identity in Him. Ultimately, God will bring us to the point where we must find our identity, hope, and trust in Him and Him alone because He loves us and knows what we need and desire more than we ever will. Whether that means revealing more and more to you from his Word in your time alone with God or allowing you to fall flat on your face in ministry, finances, physically, etc., He will do it. God knows what we quickly forget: the more that we are grounded and secure in Him and who He has made us to be, the more we will enjoy Him, be satisfied in Him, and ultimately glorify Him.
Here are a few words that God uses to describe us in His holy scriptures: Chosen, Treasured, Adopted, Redeemed, Delight, Desired, Rescued, Loved, Anointed, Crowned, Son, Heir, Royal, Holy, Protected, Blameless, Righteous, Adorned, Lavished, Clothed, Forgiven, Called, Received, Justified, Free, Counted, Established, Planted, Adored, Blessed.*
What I love about all of these words is that they are realities, not just empty sentiments. These realities are rooted in God’s character. These realities are not dependent on me at all. These realities tell me who I am even when I feel insecure or worthless.
Consider the times when you have felt absolutely beaten up by the sin that had won in your life again. Remember when all of your disciples refused to answer or show up to anything because they were just “too busy.” Think of the times when you have felt rejected, alone, dismayed, discouraged, or demoralized. These are exactly the times when Satan lies to us and tells us that these “failures” determine who we are.
During my first year on staff, God had done so much in the ministry and had led our staff team to some awesome students who had placed their faith in Christ. I remember thinking that I just had to lock them into coming to New Years Conference or summer project. For months, I had been placing my identity in these guys growing into maturity. After all, I was their disciple leader, right? Well, commitment time came and one by one they said: “Not this year, not this time.” “I really think I should stay home.” “I am going to do other things this break.” “I can walk with God at home.”
In this season, I had been struggling with temptation and pride in the midst of my identity crisis, along with other things going on in my life. Ultimately, I had allowed growth and lordship decisions (for them and myself) to become my identity, and it felt like my life was falling into pieces. Eventually, I plummeted back into a depressive state which I had not experienced in years. I will never forget the humbling moment that I had to ask my wife to hide some pain pills from me because I was tempted to take them to numb my emotional pain. I felt like I blacked out for a week straight. What happened?
I had allowed Satan to lie to me. I had forgotten what God says about me. I had allowed these men and my own growth to be my god. And it had failed me. Ministry and my selfish ambition were on the throne of my life, and it hurt when it came crashing down. If only I had kept the cross and Christ’s love for me in the center. If only I would have begged God to bring me back to Himself. If only I would have believed and trusted in who God had already declared me to be: His beloved son and heir with Christ. Believe this today and receive the honor of being used by God out of an overflow of your blessed identity in Him. You are not what you do. You are who God has declared you to be in the blood of Christ.
Sadhu Sundar Singh to a young minister:
“Read your Bible daily with prayer, do not flee from the Cross, and do not become proud when some good people give you any honor. Remember, the colt had the honor of walking on the garments which were spread by men in the way while Christ was entering Jerusalem and people were saying, ‘Hosanna, blessed is He who cometh in the name of the Lord.’ The colt had this honor because Christ was seated on it.”
Luke 19:28-40 - The Triumphal Entry
*reference verses on identity: Deuteronomy 7:6-11, Psalm 1, Psalm 32:5-6, Psalm 107:1-2, Isaiah 61:10, Matthew 5:1-12, Galatians 4:1-7, Galatians 5:1, Colossians 1:22, 1 Peter 2:9-10
